I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
