So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My vagina is officially offended.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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