Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Farmville is her only friend.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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