she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize