i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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