Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
