fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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