just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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