a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
