You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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