Nicole vs. Life
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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