Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
