i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
