i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize