remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
