I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
