That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I want to fling myself into the sun
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
