we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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