Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
