It's like God shit irony all over that family
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
