just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize