Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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