i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
