bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
