you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
