i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize