I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
