You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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