I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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