watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
