I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
