Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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