I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I smell like Dick and happiness
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize