come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
