Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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