If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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