Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
