Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize