he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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