do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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