I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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