Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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