I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
