im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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