my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
