Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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