I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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