I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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