so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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