I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
