I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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