Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
