Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
