found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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