The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
