Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
