I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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