they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
