apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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