I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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