6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
