it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
