i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
