I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
