: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
MIDGETS
????
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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