Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
