Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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