My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
