i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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