my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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