Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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