Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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