I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
