my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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