I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
this boner is exhausting
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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