The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
