never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
