alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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