Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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