Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
