i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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